The first year of marriage is like an amazing dream, the sex is usually good, the woman or man you have chosen is willing to do almost anything for you and you for them and you feel like butterflies are living in your body. Your body feels light and you head feels light. The constant fly past of imaginary lovebirds circling your head makes you feel light-hearted. Your heart is fit to burst. The love is strong.
Like everything in this world of ours if you use something too much it can break, become dysfunctional or simply fade away in to non-existence. Love can have this fading effect as well as your sexual relations with your partner. The big trick in this game is to keep both the sex and the love equal and continually try to check the unwritten report of your sexual live and love life is required.
In a sexless loveless marriages something will eventually suffer. So, for this reason, you seriously need to concentrate on having a healthy sex life and love life. Normally, the both of these love and sex come hand in hand but not always.
So how to get the sexy back in the marriage.
There are a series of ways you can do this:
1) Sexy Lingerie for her and sexy underwear for him. – There are many styles of lingerie to suit many people’s taste including baby doll's, corsets, pvc leather lingerie, chemises, bras and panties as well as sexy club wear style lingerie, stocking and small school style bobby socks. My suggestion is to try them all out at least once and find something you are comfortable and then go with that.
2) Explore each others sexual fantasies – maybe he wants to dress up as a woman (if his other half is up for it) maybe she wants to dress up as a man. She may even want to role play and dress up as a sexy cheerleader or a hot teacher. He may want to dress up as a doctor and inspect you with the tools of his trade.
3) Maybe you both want to explore sex toys – There is nothing wrong with a sex toy or two if you want to explore your sexuality with your partner. He may enjoy seeing her come to orgasm whilst using a fake vibrating penis and maybe for her she could buy a fake vibrating vagina to use on him to discover new sexual territory. It sounds a little strange buying strange sexual items when we already have the same real equipment to do the job for us but it is all about perspective. If you are lying on top of your lover or even behind your lover doggy style you cannot always see exactly what is happening. If you are man you know you are entering your wife’s vagina but you don’t quite get a good enough look in some positions. If you are a woman, you can feel the head of his penis and the shaft entering you but same again you can’t quite see it. Maybe this is why men have an obsession with breasts when making love, because these are the two parts of a woman’s body they see most when making love. From the back cupping them at the front and from the front caressing them from the front.
4) Play food fights and wrestling – Some men and some women love to be covered in food, jams, honey, cake cream, chocolate, raspberry and other sweet and delicious body condiments. The wrestling can be performed after you are covered in sweet gooey goodness. You trying to lick his off and him trying to lick yours off. You can have rules, no licking any erogenous zone before 5 – 10 minutes of sugar wrestling is out. Maybe even set a small alarm clock so there is a round one, round tow and so on. The best of three rounds then it is a free for all, the first one to make the other one come. This food wrestling or food play is ok and can be fun to explore but as with many things revolving around love and sex, you have to be careful where your kids are (if you have kids) and make sure your Mother’s are not on their way over to you. The last thing you need is to be covered from head to toe in cake mixture only to hear the doorbell ring and have the embarrassment of trying to explain away the half cooked cake on your bare cheeked ass.
5) Stranger sex – You can role-play and act like a stranger to your lover, husband or wife, and arrange to meet in a place you both don’t know and dress up as a business man or woman, or a business man and a prostitute, even use real money, your man can give you money for your sexual services (you can go and buy yourself some shoes after). Maybe even be the naughty maid at home and your other half could be a butler and you steal away some sexual satisfaction together whilst cleaning the master’s chamber. Or maybe if you are a woman you could be the lady of the house and the plumber has arrived to check your pipes but instead he starts checking your pipes.
6) Real stranger sex – Swinging – This does not sit well with everyone but if your marriage is in a state and you need some uplifting sex to invigorate your sex life with your partner you can always swing. There are many different kinds of events around the world and I thing you would be surprised by the many people that actually do swing. Swinging for those that do not know is the act of going to a party or premises with the intention of having sex with someone else’s wife or husband, it is a shared opportunity because the woman of the couple gets to have sex with a new guy and the man of the couple gets to pick himself a new sexual object. Normally the people are chosen like a kind of lottery, the more traditional way, putting of your keys in to a bowl and having it fished out by the person you will get physical with. Normally all of the people go back to their partners and have a normal sexual life but for some it can tip them over to always want something new.
7) Naked resorts – You may think this is similar to swinging but it is not at all. Many people the world over like to try exhibitionism. They just show of their bodies, they probably get some excitement out of it but usually they only want to show their bodies and they don’t necessarily want to have sex with anybody. They are a little different from swingers. However, just showing off your body to your partner and to other individuals and getting used to your naked body could also be a marriage saver.
There are many other ways to bring some love and sex back in to your marriage and make a marriage last, some a little risqué than others but overall the ones I have written about are a perfect place to start if your marriage is flagging. Who wants to go to a marriage counsellor first, try to solve these problems yourself first and then as a last resort go to a counsellor. If you are baring your sex life to another then you may as well show your body to another, not quite the same I know but the marriage counsellor may even suggest something along these lines at a later stage. Whatever you do make sure you and your partner both agree and explain it is for the good of the marriage. I wish all who read a happy love filled and sex filled life!
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